|
#100 |
“I don’t know who you’ll make fun of once I’m
dead and gone.” – Lita Mohon, said on an almost daily
basis to her husband, sister, children and grandchildren. |
|
|
#99 |
“I drink a Slim Fast for breakfast every
morning.” – Bryan Kosfeld, offering up why he was a
loser when employees began trying to identify who the lamest
employee was.
Bryan
won. |
|
#98 |
"I
was blinded by the sausage" -Autumn
Nakamura, on why she failed to recall the taste of gouda. |
|
#97 |
“Okay, so one thing in the universe is constant. I’ll give
you that. But apart from stars, what else is constant? Nothing!”
– Jay Burke arguing with Beau Kaelin about astronomy. |
|
#96 |
“I could’ve got you that for fifty cents! Wholesale! Not even!”
– John Watts, self-proclaimed anaconda and python trainer,
questioning one of many purchases in the fish and reptile department
at Feeder’s Supply. |
|
#95 |
“What the fuck did you just say you mush-mouthed faggot?”
– Winn Dixie cashier to John Martin after he tried for two
minutes to ask for the price of skim milk. |
|
#94 |
"Would you like a Sprite? I’d like a
Sprite" -Richard
Guitig and Ed Farrar, imitating coworker Kelly Garrett's southern
accent |
|
#93 |
“Nadine doesn’t sit in my furniture; she falls into it.”
– Mary Lena McClure commenting on her myelopathic sister Nadine
Smith. |
|
#92 |
"He
looks like a little bitch!" -Josh
Kennedy, commenting on Jay Burke's appearance when he has his hair
down. |
|
#91 |
"Bless you! Bleeeeessssss yooouuuuuuu!" -Beau
Kaelin, a shrill war cry during a heated game of Goldeneye. |
|
#90 |
"Don't clean up the peanuts!" -
Carrie Fisher to her assistant, after dumping a bag of Cracker Jacks
on the autograph table at Star Wars Celebration II. |
|
|
#89 |
"What did he buy?" -Lucy
Pike, making a comment that is frequently imitated for inexplicable
reasons. |
|
#88 |
“What you doing tonight? Me? Date!” – Kris Ward,
having a one-sided conversation with Jeff Holman |
|
#87 |
“I’m glad to see you come and I’m glad to see you go.” –
Bill Mohon to Lita Mohon the moment she walked in the door after
his open heart surgery. |
|
#86 |
“I’m going car shopping tomorrow….it is true.” – Greg
Brotzge to
Bryan Jones, who had just taunted him for depending on his mother
for transportation |
|
#85 |
"Boy, it sure got quiet when those people no one invited came in." -Adam
Greenwood on how the conversation died the moment Winston Blake and
Sarah O'Connell showed up uninvited to a Thanksgiving dinner
(comment made while Winston and Sarah were still in the room, mind
you). |
|
#84 |
"Sorry. He always loses control whenever he sees homosexuals in
movies." -Mother
trying to explain why her thirty year-old son started screaming and
attacking other people during a screening of the film "Camp." |
|
#83 |
“No, the speed of space is faster than the speed of light because
there’s nothing there. It goes like that! (snaps)” –
Jay Burke, explaining his incomprehensible theory on the “Speed of
Space,” despite all reasoning from individuals that understand
Physics. |
|
#82 |
“Tell the ushers to grab some radios. These clouds look fucking
nuts.” – Bryan Senteney remarking on the weather. |
|
#81 |
"It's just a piece of metal. What do you want me to say?" -Bob
Roach, when prompted to make a speech before unveiling his Mothman
statue during Point Pleasant's Mothman Days Festival. |
|
#80 |
“You spent two weeks painting that? It looks like crap!”
– Wayne Williams to a couple of students in Art 3. This was a
typical comment for the art teacher. |
|
#79 |
“From now on, your name is ‘Cornbread!’” – Scott
Farley to Craig McGrath during junior year at DeSales. The nickname
stuck. |
|
#78 |
"Watch out! Here comes the fiscal conservative in me!" -John
Reynolds, a pompous, goblin-faced, closet-homosexual business major
in my Academic Literature Analysis class at U of L (possibly the
most pretentious class I've ever taken). |
|
#77 |
"You want to know what the story is? I'm married to an asshole.
That's what the story is." Lita
Mohon, responding to husband Bill Mohon's prompts for her to tell a
"funny story about her dying the night before". |
|
#76 |
"You really need to go over there and toss their salads!" -Les
Abersom, explaining what was expected of me once I began managing
the Village Eight. |
