Kill
Beau Vol.2
|
After "Kill Beau Vol. 1" was
premiered on September 11, 2004, Bennett threw out a projected
release date of October 11,2004 for the release of
Volume 2. However, due to the fact that many of the cast
members had gone back to college for the fall semester and
others had moved on to other jobs and/or locales, it hindered
Bennett's ability to shoot extra scenes. While the film
is still set in summer of 2004, scenes were being shot as late
as early February 2005 for the movie. |
|
|
|
More obvious
spoofs of the "Kill Bill" films came into play
in Vol. 2, such as the shot above. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Jesus
is gonna make you have a bad day!" hit man Ted
Directly (Thalon Hubbell) threatens Ed Melville.
Ed's role as the underdog hero became more prominent in
Volume 2. |
|
Finally, a premiere date was set and there
was much rejoicing. But unlike the rest of the proletariat,
Sean, Jeff and I were permitted to see the finished product a
day early. Bennett wanted the three of us to provide a
commentary for the film to be added to the DVD upon its
release. While I did see the movie a day early, I didn't
actually take it in until the premiere. Part of the
commentary involved each of us taking shots every time an
ex-employee came on screen. We should count ourselves
lucky we didn't die of alcohol poisoning that night.
While our commentary is mildly insightful at the beginning, by
half an hour in we're badly insulting whoever's on
screen. As a result, Bennett, while happy with the
overall result, had to edit the commentary before
release.
|
|
|
 |
| Bryan
Senteney's lack of availability for Vol. 2 was solved by
his inexplicable transformation into an anime character. |
|
However, out of the few memories I have
remaining from that night of unhealthy inebriation, I can honestly
say I was really impressed with the opening. It begins with a
commercial for Fox's "Run through the Whorehouse." I
laughed my ass off, because it's the truth. I'm just like any
other theatre manager inasmuch I'd sell my body out to whatever 20th
Century Fox studio exec just to get a new waffle iron for free (or a
waffle iron). This
was followed by a great intro done à la "Citizen
Kane." Atmospheric shots, eerie music and the only
dialogue being my last word before losing consciousness -
"Crap." Then came the spoof of "Entertainment
Tonight"...
|
|
|
|
This by far was one of the most brilliant
gimmicks I've seen in a film or television show to refresh the
audience as to what happened in the prior installment. A
dubbed Mary Hart and Bob Goen talked about the plot
developments in "Kill Beau Vol. 1" like they were
reviewing a daytime drama. The dialogue was hilarious
(probably the only time you'll ever hear Mary Hart declare
"Hail Satan!"...on camera that is), and the way
Bennett inserted images into the archival ET footage was
damn-near flawless. I just remember thinking, "Holy shit,
this looks good!" It was a step above the first
film in the way of editing and style, and that's saying a lot
based on how impressed I was with the first installation. |
 |
|
Entertainment
Tonight was rife for parody in reminding viewers what
happened in "Kill Beau Vol. 1" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ex-employee
Mike Ward was eager to go onto "Entertainment
Tonight" to recall how I fired him for calling in
sick. |
|
The ET parody also had a "preview of
the new season of Baxter Avenue" as well as interviews
with "folks on the street" about me. The
latter section was wild because it confirmed rumors I'd been
hearing since the premiere of the first film. After
"Kill Beau Vol. 1" was released, word seemed to get
around that Bennett was making a quasi-documentary about how
I was imminently hated by many about town. As a result, other
ex-employees began approaching Bennett, eager to talk trash
about me. Bennett didn't turn them down and so their
interviews were inserted into this section of the film. I'm
almost proud of the degree of notoriety I've achieved over the
years when I see footage like that. |
|
|
|
For the rest of the film, the interviews
conducted with film buffs (both patrons and employees alike)
focused less on the Baxter and my character. Instead,
they were done in regards to filming techniques, contrived endings, etc.
Essentially, Bennett was allow- ing the direction of the
interviews to influence the direction of the film. I
still have never asked him if he genuinely intended to do this
in the beginning when he began filming in April of 2004, or
whether it just happened to come about as he spent four months
editing Vol. 2 and noticed a trend in his old
interviews. I like to think it's the former.
Possibly the funniest of these twists is when the topic of
"guerilla filmmaking" arises. Carl Wohlschlegel
discusses the impact of handheld filming and the implications
of using incidental footage in a film on one side of the
screen as Sean goes on a drunken rampage on the other. |
 |
|
Possibly the
wildest juxtaposition I've ever seen. "It's not the
footage, but how you use it," warns Carl on one
side of the screen. On the other side, Bennett
inserts actual footage of Sean on a drunken
tirade, beating his girlfriend and stripping,
after drinking a bottle of Bacardi 151. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
CRAP Council
Boss Hatfield (Joe Hatfield) curses in fury when he
realizes that his hit man Ted Directly is dead and that
he and Bennett have been exposed for their scheming. |
|
The rest of the film centers primarily
around the staff running the theatre in my absence. To
help pay for my recuperation, the staff run 4 AM shows since
midnight shows were banned. Ed is in charge of roping in
all the drunks on the street once the bars close. Jeff,
Sean and Hannah Arbaugh are in charge of security as Bennett
assumes power at the theatre. Boss Hatfield sends in hit man
Ted Directly to eliminate the snooping Ed, but instead, Ed
kills Ted (I like the way that sounds) and double-crosses Boss
Hatfield, revealing that Bennett is the true enemy. Even
Robert Boston makes a cameo (from his actual hospital bed at
the time of filming) as my hospital roommate. It all gets very
silly and confusing, but since the rest of the movie is no
better, it works. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thalon Hubbell is
introduced as Ted Directly, an odd character who strangely
exists in accelerated time. |
Marat Gray returns
as Boss Gray, to spy for Boss Hatfield as to the Baxter's
goings-on in my absence. |
Robert Boston has a
cameo as well, making Ian Huff the only original cast member
from the Jaime trilogy not to appear. |
|
|
|
A particularly moving sequence during the
film is when the four AM show is launched. In a darkened
theatre, we see actual shots of customers watching a film, as
Bennett superimposed movie shots on the theatre screen.
They consisted of a montage of clips from "Total
Recall," "Reflections of Evil," "Army of
Darkness," "THX-1138," and "Lifeforce."
All of this was done to the music from "The Last
Starfighter." As I sat in the theatre watching the
film at the premiere, I actually noticed my eyes begin to
water a bit during this sequence. Whether it was the
music, memories of the life and death of the midnight films,
the happiness of seeing an almost year long endeavor with
friends on the screen or shots of men in space suits sleeping
with Patrick Stewart I can't say. All I know was the
emotion was there briefly before I did the proper manly thing
and bottled it up inside to be taken out on others later. |
 |
 |
|
The 4 AM tribute.
|
|
|
|
 |
|
After my
resurrection, I attempt to kill Bennett by running him
over with my car. This scene would have been
interesting to explain to the police should they have
shown up while we were filming. |
|
After the 4 AM montage and Ted
Directly's death, things began to wrap up. Ginny Coakley
is freed of any suspicions about my illness, but only after
Christine Puryear arrives at her door and pulls out her other
eye to make her confess her hatred towards me. The money
raised by the 4 AM shows is enough to cure me, and I return to
the Baxter where I'm promptly killed by Bennett. Then, in a
blissfully contrived moment, Ed arrives with a piece of mail
he had been holding onto for me since Vol. 1. It's a
letter from the Fox Rewards company granting me an extra life
for all my hard work. Once resurrected, I set out to
kill Bennett by running him down with my car. When we
shot this, Bennett told me to make an actual effort to run him
down and he'd get out of the way at the last moment. He
didn't and I swerved, nearly killing him for real. Daffy
bastard did it on purpose to make the shot "more
authentic."
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
| Ellie
Driver looking Ginny Coakley is confronted about her
intents to kill me. |
She
recalls the loss of her eye in a shot that pays tribute
to both "Kill Bill" and "28 Days Later,"... |
as
well as my insidious firing of her, only to claim that
she feels no hatred towards me. |
|
|
|
In the end, as things grow more
nonsensical, implausible and unnecessary, the mildly
logical explanation comes forth that midichlorians are
responsible for all that is going awry in
Louisville. By far, this is the nerdiest in-joke
in the whole film. Midichlorians being the small
symbiotic bacteria (or some other BS from Star Wars
Episode I) found in the bloodstreams of Jedi. In
the reality of "Kill Beau," they look like
George Lucas trypanosomes and cause whoever is infected
by them to think bad ideas are good and want to produce
them in lamentable films (like George Lucas...get it?). That being said, the
whole movie then turns out to be a dream, the audience
looks pissed and everyone goes home.
|
 |
|
Midichlorians
turn out to be the reason for much of the insanity
about Louisville depicted in the film.
|
|
|
|
 |
|
Jeff
Holman freaks out during a "chrome polish trip."
|
|
Actually, the premiere was a success. About one
hundred people showed up, which utterly confounded me. I
didn't know Bennett actually knew that many people. Shawn
McGill was good enough to set up a video projection system for
the event and I was able to use my connections to score enough
free pizza for all. Between films at the Village (Vol. 1 was
reshown for those who hadn't seen it), I ran into people whom I
hadn't seen for years. Classmates from middle school and
high school, coworkers from several years back, etc. The
whole night had a creepy family reunion air to it. I
was labeled a "celebrity with a lowercase 'c' " that
night, and Bennett received many pats on the back and three
slaps to the face all of his hard work.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
With the film done and the premiere long gone, the
brief notoriety shred by many involved should have quickly
disappeared (that being the case with all previous employee
films). However, the "Kill Beau" films have gone
beyond the realm of those involved and seem to have found an
underground following that even I can't fathom. About once
a week, someone will see me and make some reference to the
films. The most memorable being the time I entered a post
office to mail a parcel and the clerk behind the desk (an older
woman looking to be in her fifties) pointed at me and said
"I thought they killed you!" Kinda creepy, yet
cool. Sean and Jeff have had similar experiences since
they were introduced as Team Switchblades at the end of Vol.
2. And because of that, Team Switchblades: The Movie will
now be loosely tied to the Kill Beau saga, creating a chain that
will never end (only if we're lucky).
|
 |
|
Both films turn
out to be a giant chrome-induced hallucination in Jeff's
mind. Sean wakes him and the two rush off to fight
Roborto, providing a link to the Team Switchblades movie.
|
|
|
|
Back
|
